A is for Alligator, swamp monsters of love.
B is for Badger, apparently hailing from Scotland.
C is for Cuttlefish, known for their snappy head wear.
D is for Dodo. May your love not go extinct as quickly.
E is for Eagle. Black tie required, baldy.
Note: No emu or earwig options, sadly.
F is for Ferret, European polecats hand blown in glass.
G is for Goat, wide-eyed herbivores of romance.
H is for Hammerhead shark, the Bob Villa of the seas.
I is for Insect, because choosing just one love bug is hard.
J is for Jellyfish. Love stings, yeah yeah.
K is for Killer Whale. Love is better outside of captivity, too.
L is for Lobster. Love is also better with butter.
M is for Manatee. Everyone will look a bit like a sea cow after enough time.
N is for Narwhal, armed for sparing for life.
O is for Octopus, sixteen hands for groping each other.
P is for Platypus. Show their love some respect, or he’ll come for you with his poisonous spurs.
Q is for Quail. The males are apparently slightly judgmental about your choice in veil.
R is for Rat. Chocolate sprinkles on the cake may be a poor choice.
S is for Scorpion. (“Who would want a scorpion?” Pastry, “Biker gangs.”)
T is for Tapir. I hear on good authority they love Brazilian Carnivale.
U is for Urchin to continue the theme of crunchy sealife on tops of cakes.
V is for Vampire Bat. No blood tests required here for marriage.
W is for Walrus. Dapper and high end.
X is for…
Y is for Yorkshire Terrier. Small and yappy deserves love, too.
Z is for Zebra. Show your true stripes and find your true love.
Note: No Naked Mole Rat wedding toppers! I am disappointed! Is this not the face of romance and love? Wouldn’t any couple want two of these suckers, one in a top hat and the other in a sensible short veil, for the top of their cake?