I was considering opening up this whole shebang with something like to say “I am getting married to a wonderful person likely sometime around this time next year, blah de blah blah,” but this whole wedding business is an intense, relentless process of weird, full of loaded traditions, ideals, values, rituals, decisions, and more. My partner, future official-spouse-on-paper, and eventual sharer-of-health-insurance, Pastry, is a wonderful man, enthusiastically discussing, planning, moderating, and pouring me drinks when I get a bit fired up about the inherent gender roles in important life rituals. Luckily for me, he is way more patient than I and also makes a great Old Fashioned. Equality, respect, fun, and authenticity are immensely important to us both, and one would think that this would be easy to incorporate into what is essentially a one-day fancy party, right? No. Enter The Wedding Industry Machine.
(Should you be interested, this image of a wedding vending machine is what comes up with you search for the above phrase. As a concept, I think it should incorporate snacks and booze, too. Wedding band, regrettable decisions, cheap whiskey, AND Doritos all in one place!)
Pastry, code name for my love which requires a somewhat long story, and I have been reworking what is important to us in this gloried event. Meanwhile, I have found that I really enjoy researching wedding traditions over the course of civilization, looking as the evolution of an industry, changing values over time, and the just plain oddity of human matrimonial tradition. So, I’m going to ramble about wedding traditions as well as use this as a space to figure out what is important in this pretty significant life event. I’ll get to the whole why of marriage in a bit.
Also, you can get crabs out of vending machines now, too.