I am very easily entertained. So, I made a (admittedly terrible) version of Pastry and I as our nicknames in about five minutes on Photoshop while I was procrastinating from doing serious things. So, without further ado, presented in their best wedding finery, Cucumber and Pastry!
As the glorious naked mole rat sadly did not seem to have a wedding cake topper option, I made a quick mock-up for Heterocephalus glaber enthusiasts.
Those teeth, those whiskers, that thermoconforming skin, that resistance to cancer, and lack of pain…Glorious, are they not?
Imagining these on top of a cake is vaguely nauseating and wonderful at the same time. It would be like two, uh, wrinkled, pinkish skin sacks laying limp on buttercream while dressed in their wedding finery.
Note: A true naked mole rat cake topper would actually feature one bride and numerous grooms as they function in eusocial colonies very similarly to bees with one queen, three male consorts, and a whole bunch of workers doing the digging. foraging for food, grooming, and rearing of mole rat pups. It takes a village, okay.